10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship

Romance today doesn’t quite look like the kind of thing you read in John Keats’ love letters or Shakespeare’s sonnets — far from it, actually.

Couples these days use profanity, less-than-subtle nods to their partner’s sexual anatomy and occasionally even the word “poop” to express their affection for one another. Below are 10 funny love notes that more accurately represent the modern relationship.

A sweet gift and a sexy promise:
10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship
10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship
Embedded via Imgur user DelightfulAsFuck

A compliment she’ll never get sick of hearing:
10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship
Embedded via Imgur user manlymann

A compliment he’ll never get sick of hearing:
10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship
Embedded via Imgur user JoshG90

A strong message best conveyed in fridge magnets:
10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship
Embedded via Imgur user cdipping

A little bathroom romance:
10 Love Notes That Perfectly Sum Up The Modern Relationship
Credit: Ben Greenleaf

And a little more:</bi

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16 Ways To Make Your Wife’s Morning With A Single Text Message

Waking up to a cute text from your boo is all but guaranteed to put a smile on your face, no matter how cranky and tired you might be.

On Thursday, one Redditor posed a question to the women of Reddit, asking, “What would be the best ‘good morning’ text you could receive?” Below are 16 of the best responses. (Hint: Most of them involve food).

1. “Come downstairs, I made pancakes.”

2. “Morning love, I’m coming over later and I’m bringing pizza.”

16 Ways To Make Your Wifes Morning With A Single Text Message

via Giphy

3. “I took the kids with me to the store. We’ll be back around 10:30. Please feel free to sleep in. Bringing brunch home with us.”

4. “The cat puked all over the downstairs carpet, but I cleaned it all up. <3"

16 Ways To Make Your Wifes Morning With A Single Text Message

via Giphy

5. “Good morning babe. I hope you have an amazing day. I love you.”

6. “Saw this and though

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UPS Loses Wedding Rings, Pretends They Were Held By Customs For 6 Weeks

UPS Loses Wedding Rings, Pretends They Were Held By Customs For 6 Weeks

(Zsolt Székely)

A few weeks ago, reader Melissa got married. Congratulations, Melissa! Only she and her now-husband had to celebrate their marriage without the nerdy custom wedding rings that they had ordered from a jeweler in Canada. At first, UPS told the couple that their package was being held at customs and would be on its way soon. Then they lost it. Or it had been lost all along.

Now, in theory, it doesn’t matter whether this package was a pair of wedding rings for a ceremony just a few weeks away, a bunch of crumpled-up newspaper and some floppy disks, or a $12,000 nitrogen calibration system: all packages deserve equal dignity. They paid for three-day shipping from Ontario to Tennessee, and they didn’t get what they paid for. However, a wedding does make their story extra sympathetic. Also, their rings came from a popular jeweler who has a lot of experience sh

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Study: Broadband Still Slower, More Expensive In U.S. Than In Europe, Asia

Study: Broadband Still Slower, More Expensive In U.S. Than In Europe, Asia

(Tom Richardson)

American consumers have gotten a mixed bag of broadband news this year. Between mergers and net neutrality it’s been a rough twelve months, even while some consumers have seen better connections and dropping prices. But the news for most of us is the same as ever: on the whole, Americans pay more, for worse broadband service, than our peers in the rest of the world.

The Open Technology Institute at the New America Foundation conducts a study every year comparing broadband speeds and prices nation- and world-wide. This year’s, which they released this week, is the third annual study.

Last year’s report found that Americans were paying more for broadband access than our counterparts abroad, and getting worse service for it.

This year’s data paint a similar picture. Overall, our national average broadband speeds are still lower, and our prices h

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Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away

Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle AwayA few years ago, we shared the story of a bold shoplifter who thought that nobody would notice if he stuffed a chainsaw down his pants and tried to make a break for it. Someone will notice, as it turns out. In Florida, police say that a man tried to commit a similar crime this week, only with the chainsaw stuffed in his shirt. He did not succeed.

Yes, there is surveillance video with audio, which you can see at the Palm Beach Post. Warning: the video plays automatically when you open the page.

According to police, the man entered a hardware store and asked for change for a dollar, then picked up the chainsaw and left the store with it. Maybe it was his getaway method that was problematic: he fled the store on a bicycle. Police found the chainsaw in a vacant lot, but not the suspect. An employee of the store later helped police find him.

He has been charged with grand theft and bur

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The Top 11 Hilarious Wedding Moments Caught on Film

Your wedding day is real. Warts and all. In this era of glamorized music video style wedding videos, there’s a lot of reality TV going on in the background at your wedding. Think about all those wedding reality shows. The entertaining part is not the ceremony itself. It’s the wedding preparation, DIY disasters and late night reception antics. And the interviews with the guests. Those painfully blunt guests.

While the cinematic wedding videos can be a beautiful way to remember the day, why not also celebrate the hilarity of your wedding day bloopers? Riding a mechanical bull in your wedding dress may not make the cut of the music video — but it sure will be funny to watch on your anniversary.

1. The Groom Twerking to Gangnam Style
Drunk, married and ready to twerk. (See the full video here)
The Top 11 Hilarious Wedding Moments Caught on Film

2. Or a Random Baby Crashing Your Wedding Vows Proba

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28,980 Pounds Of Chicken Kiev Recalled For Connection With Salmonella Illness

28,980 Pounds Of Chicken Kiev Recalled For Connection With Salmonella IllnessSometimes you want Chicken Kiev but don’t feel like pounding out the chicken breasts, stuffing them with butter and herbs, and then cooking them. But if you’ve got some Antioch Farms Chicken Kiev sitting in your freezer, check the label because 29,000 pounds of the pre-stuffed chicken have been recalled for possible Salmonella contamination.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture announced Aspen Foods, a division of Koch Meats in Chicago, recalled 28,980 pounds of partial prepared chicken products sold under the Antioch Farms brand.

The recall was initiated at the request of the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Services (FSIS) after Minnesota health officials and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention identified a cluster of salmonella cases that appeared to be connected to the product.

According to the USDA notice, the Minnesota Health Department inve

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Petition Demands Big Banks Give Consumers Back Our Right To Sue

Petition Demands Big Banks Give Consumers Back Our Right To Sue

(Colin)

Since 2011, when the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed that it was perfectly okay for companies to take away a consumer’s right to sue — and their ability to join other wronged consumers in a class action — by inserting a paragraph or two of text deep in lengthy, unchangeable contracts, the rush has been on for almost every major retailer, wireless provider, cable company, and financial institution to slap these mandatory binding arbitration clauses into their customer agreements. Now one petition is gathering signatures, calling on the nation’s largest banks to put an end to the practice.

For those not familiar with binding arbitration, it works like this: You’re wronged by a company; not just a customer service dispute, but a complaint where you have an actual legal dispute.

But you can’t sue, because 13 pages into a 23-page customer agreement

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This Couple Had No Idea Their Picture Was Being Taken

As a photographer in the wedding-happy state of Hawaii, Mariah Dagupion has seen her fair share of romantic moments. Few, however, have been as special or touching as a recent, unscripted proposal on a Maui beach.

Last Thursday, while on a short break from shooting a wedding at Wailea Beach, Dagupion saw a man in the distance drop to one knee in front of his girlfriend. Instinctively, Dagupion took out her camera, zoomed in and snapped a few photos of the proposal before getting back to work.

This Couple Had No Idea Their Picture Was Being Taken

By the time her event was over, much time had passed — and when she went to look for the newly engaged couple, they had already left the beach. But Dagupion was determined to give the mystery couple their photos. She began posting the proposal on social media, and they quickly went viral after a local news station picked up the story.

That’s when Susan Schrank, a 25-year-old Oregon

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This Couple Had No Idea Their Picture Was Being Taken

As a photographer in the wedding-happy state of Hawaii, Mariah Dagupion has seen her fair share of romantic moments. Few, however, have been as special or touching as a recent, unscripted proposal on a Maui beach.

Last Thursday, while on a short break from shooting a wedding at Wailea Beach, Dagupion saw a man in the distance drop to one knee in front of his girlfriend. Instinctively, Dagupion took out her camera, zoomed in and snapped a few photos of the proposal before getting back to work.

This Couple Had No Idea Their Picture Was Being Taken

By the time her event was over, much time had passed — and when she went to look for the newly engaged couple, they had already left the beach. But Dagupion was determined to give the mystery couple their photos. She began posting the proposal on social media, and they quickly went viral after a local news station picked up the story.

That’s when Susan Schrank, a 25-year-old Oregon

read more